Thursday, December 3, 2015

Optimus Prime: Country Club Detective

Going through some files, found this script to an abandoned sketch show project for a theater company I was working for.

Here's the main theme/stage direction: it's one continuous bit, someone walks in with a MP Optimus Prime figure, says his two lines, and then remains silent and still while all the other castmembers take turns, as in the script, as if this were a film trailer or TV spot or something. It'd be live, with the announcer serving as the cuts for the 'commercial.' That's the action, each character coming up to the toy and interacting. The sketch is obviously a few minutes long. I don't know if it's worth going to all the trouble to perform this live. Doesn't matter, the sketch show never materialized.

I completely forgot about this. And for good reason. Oh, it was for "rejected shows." We made up shows that were being rejected.

Thursday, November 12, 2015

Semi-updates! Coming soon!

Hola, amigos!

1. I will have a toy review! Probably late next week! Woo! (or the week after.)

2. Hey! Visit ROBOTS WITH COFFEE because I've added reviews there. Not for toys! But for movies and video games and albums! Please go! Check it out! It's AWESOME!

Make sure you visit Angry Canadian Decepticon (Who has a podcast) and Optimal Omega and Til All Are Mine and all the other blogs on the right "other blog" bar.


Sunday, June 21, 2015

Botcon / Changes

1. I went to Botcon this year. Photos to appear soonish...

2. ...but maybe on another site. Maybe on a specific site where I do specific thing.

That site being (drumroll) ROBOTS WITH COFFEE.


So, after about a year of activity on FB and Twitter where I got to meet people and go places because of the dopey robots and pictures of toys and coffee, I decided I needed to do something to centralize Robots With Coffee and maybe make something of it beyond me (and some friends) taking pictures of coffee. There's a fake robot cartoonist we all know and love who needs a home, for starters. But there's some other things that I've wanted to do for a long time and RwC presents an opportunity to do so. I enjoyed making Everyone Loves Gears but as I got better at making those, I realized I could shoot higher as far as an actual story and with more than just one gag through the whole thing.

I'm also buying fewer toys. I like Alpha Bravo, I'm glad everyone digs Combiner Wars, but I'm either not impressed or just plain not enjoying it. It's not for me. And at the Botcon reveal of Sky Lynx The Combiner, well, is every G1 character going to be turned into a limb? I'm sure it's successful and Hasbro is enjoying the returns. I hope they are! But beyond Victorion (and even she herself) I'm not interested in anything that's not a new character or G1 that hasn't been Classic/Generation'd yet. Maybe we'll get more Headmasters like Brainstorm. Maybe I'll get Devastator. I don't know!

But if I get more figures, I'll mention it or even review it here. If I find something funny, something interesting, maybe I'll talk about it here.

I like my action figures! I love "the guys!" But I love what I tripped and fell into a few years ago. So I'm gonna work on creatin' something and run with it, even if it the expense of my collection. OH NO! Not really.

So go to Robots With Dot Com Money every day and look at the comics and some classic (and new) robot coffee pics. Stay tuned. I'll update big developments here if they happen. If I can't get the big plans off the ground, I'll be happy happy to keep drawing some silly strips and posting silly robot coffee pictures on the site, and on FB and Twitter.

That's it for now. Some Botcon pics soon.

Wednesday, April 1, 2015

Latest Acquisitions - Combiner Wars wave 1

I haven't been posting about the toys. It's been more work for me to walk over, grab my camera, taking a few pics, resizing them, uploading, than it is to draw pictures and edit them and then upload them...

Okay, what REALLY is going on: drawing is just WAY. TOO. FUN. I am having a blast belting out dopey robots and Mort Inkingbot comic strips. Also, since I wasn't all that impressed with the lone figure from the new cartoon that I purchased, beyond Combiner Wars, I'm just interested in buying new figures.

And even with Combiner Wars, I'm..."meh." I never liked the Scramble City figures nor the combiners they...combined into. So with the new deluxes, I picked up Alpha Bravo and REALLY dug him, and still do. Silverbolt, the Voyager center figure of the combiner? Pretty good. Pretty cool.

Skydive and Firefly from this wave are airplanes and...this is where the series loses me. The transforming is similar to Alpha Bravo's, but like their original Scramble City counterparts, they looks like blocky robots with airplanes attached. They exist to be limbs. They're not more impressive than that. The plane parts are either flimsy wings or shells on their backs. The robot body is virtually the same for all of them, yet the transformation from robot to vehicle don't seem as fun for these two planes as it does for Alpha Bravo.

The last figure in this wave is Dragstrip, who is the Decepticon race car that forms part of Menasor. He's kind of an ugly robot, but as a figure he's very solid. His race car mode is also pretty awesome. I don't know why some of these figures seem flimsy in one form or another (Skydive & Firefly, so far) while others are consistent in both vehicle and robot form (Dragstrip, the still ultra fun Alpha Bravo). 

If the last Aerialbot is as weak as Skydive/Firefly, then I might pass on the rest of this series, save for a few figures like First Aid (for the MTMTE shelf), and if there's anything truly different beyond color themes and new heads. Will getting a new Mirage or Sunstreaker that are repaints of Stunticons be worth it? Open ended!

FINALLY! Powerglide. He looks like his G1 bad self, he's got a 3rd mode where he's kind of a weird shotgun for Superion. His tailfin fell off during transformation, so there's a bit of flimsiness, so please be careful. I never got the overly large Universe figures from a few years ago, but I like having a little version that replaces the G1 minibot (of which is broken, D'oh!).

Okay, so, bought some toys, enough to make a (slightly mismatched) Combiner, and some are cool and some are not, and I'm probably going to skip a few figures. Powerglide is pretty cool too. I am looking forward to Ultra Magnus and Devastator.

Not much else to add. More silly drawings soon.

Monday, March 2, 2015

Hey look, more dopey robots.

I spent all day Saturday scanning some images. They're on Tumblr but I'll link them here.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

enjoy. Hopefully Robo Goddess Of Blankets and Cuddletron become real toys some day...

Saturday, February 14, 2015

Holy bajeezus. Combiner Wars DEVASTATOR, Ultra Magnus & Minimus Ambus

That's the news. There's a lot of news. Much thanks to Collecticon and Radio News Cybertron and all the good people who went to Toyfair on Valentine's Day to report on and take pictures of toy robots.

There's a lot. There's the new Robots In Disguise, some new Kreo sets...and a bunch of new combiner figures. Remolds, retools, whathaveyou.

Then there's Devastator. That's a link to TFW2005 by the way. Not Prowlestator, which a lot of IDW fans would love. It's as G1 as you can get. The complaints from the internets: some of the figures don't have elbows or knees (or both). I'm not paying attention to who doesn't have what. You can probably figure it out from the pictures. Because of the size and the combination, there's some hollowness to the figures. A lot of recent Voyagers seem hollow and clunky and maybe the Constructicons would be in the same way. Then there's the issue of Devastator's head, that it's too small. And it looks pretty small.

I'm looking at the photos and reading some of the comments from people staring at Devastator at the convention and the whole thing looks pretty awesome. That Scrapper is as tall (or even taller?) than G1 Devastator? He looks solid. Solid and hilariously G1. I'm so glad that I didn't buy Hercules or Giant. Those figures looked cool but as individual figures they didn't look like their G1 selves. How important is that? For me, a person that a toy corporation doesn't need to cater to, I'm stoked.

But where are the balls? Like in the movie?

And then Ultra Magnus? I heard there'd be a new one, but meh. I have no interest in more Ultra OH WAIT, this one is based on MTMTE? IT WILL HAVE A MINIMUS AMBUS FIGURE? Yes, it includes a Minimus that fits inside of Ultra Magnus (who has giant shoulder missiles that become part of a hammer). The only think I can think of is "oh, wouldn't it be cooler? If it were the kind of thing where Magnus was really a suit that you put over Ambus' legs and arms, and not a Battletech or Titanfall type figure that Minimus is basically a pilot of? I know that that's not the intention, but still..."

But still. Happy smiles all around. Kudos to Hasbro for giving it a shot and especially to all the people who work on the IDW comics for not just making great comics but for influencing the toy corporation to make the toys this way.

Gush gush gush. Okay, seriously, next post I'll be writing about what I think of Superion, mainly CW Firefly.

NOT RELATED TO ANYTHING: I doodled Trailbreaker on a date with Mistress of Flame, a character featured in the (hopefully) ongoing Windblade series this summer.

Friday, January 23, 2015

Combiner Wars!

Guess what I got?

Yeah, I picked up some Combiner Wars figures. On a whim and with the help of a gift card I bought CW Alpha Bravo and the latest cartoon star Strongarm from the RiD (cartoon, not comic) series premiering in March.

As far as RiD goes, I'm excited to have Sideswipe as a main character and so Strongarm would be some kind of test on quality for that cartoon's line. I will discuss that later. I picked up Alpha Bravo because the store had this brand new Deluxe figure on sale so why not? I didn't really want to jump on board with this because though I like having new Generations versions of G1 figures, I was never a fan of the "Scramble City" style of combiners. Their tiny heads and transformation to robots that were far less imaginable than the Minibots. Even the Micromasters have better robot modes, but that's my opinion.

Well, Alpha Bravo is a surprisingly sturdy figure. And his helicopter mode is pretty cool too. The coolest thing about this figure is getting him from robot to helicopter. The transformation of his legs, which open and then surround his robothighs, is a contrast to the simple transformation of the rest of his body. Pretty impressive.

The packaging is kind of ridiculous, as in questionable. It's not so much the frequent references to his being a limb for Superion, but that there's no info about Alpha Bravo on the back of the packaging card. He comes with a trading card. On the front side, the box art. The back side? A giant Autobot logo. Wait, REALLY? You've got to be kidding me. What an opportunity for a deeper bio and tech specs! That's why you go to the trouble to include a trading card!

I'll have a picture or two next post about toys. I picked up Silverbolt and there's more to say but he's special for his combiner mode and that's what I think most fans are going to focus on and remember about this series.

Okay, I hope you are all well.

Sunday, December 28, 2014

Brainstorm! Arcee! Chromia!

So a little while ago Brainstorm was available on Habro Toy Shop so I ordered him and he arrived shortly after. How awesome is he? 

Pretty awesome. His alt mode? Whatever. It looks like something from the Star Wars prequels. The headmaster's head looks like it's about to snap off. Aside for this photo, I won't be removing it from the body. Unlike his the other Generations Voyagers that came out this year, there's no sticker sheet, so there's nothing to break up the teal, white, and gray color scheme. The briefcase is Lionel Hutz'.

ARCEE! This version's hands are 'open.' Vehicle mode is meh. I was worried that this was too similar to the Impossible Toys figure from a few years ago, but it's instead vastly superior, at least in figure mode. She's still a bit of a shell former and the shell that makes the front part of the car is too close to her transformed body to hold the blue swords (like Animated Arcee). Anyway, it's great to finally have an official G1 themed Arcee (even though I would have dug the recent IDW version).

Pretty great figure. The legs pop out from the hip ball joint very easily, but not with any damage. The real problem: be careful with the upper arms' elbow joint. When you turn her forearms, you can feel them resist and...will it stress the ball joint and break it? Taking off the upper blue shield bit might help. The front wheel 'fork' on mine has already started to curve. Great figure, neat motorcycle design.

From "good to great" isn't a mixed bag of description. You've probably seen several complaints about recent Hasbro Generations figures being flimsy to hollow and clunky. If you're on the fence about Brainstorm, well, it depends if you are a fan of More Than Meets The Eye, in which case it's a no brainer (or YES Brainstorm! get it?). Chromia is cool but some of us clumsier fans are going to break those arms or lose pieces transforming. I don't care for having to transform Arcee and struggle with fitting the hips into the car shell part, but her robot mode is very sturdy.

So yeah, cool figures.

...see, BRAINstorm. BRAINer. Why do I have to explain it?

Thursday, December 18, 2014

Hey, how about I type about some toys for a change?

OMG, I've been so busy drawing Mort strips and drinking coffee that I haven't typed up anything about my toys. And since I got Generations Brainstorm and am expecting Arcee and Chromia tomorrow, well, maybe I'll talk about some of the other stuff.


So I got Windblade, Jhiaxus, Nightbeat, and the playwright. But before those four arrived, what else have I found?

GENERATIONS ROADBUSTER - Ah, now I don't ever have to search out the G1 "deluxe" figure. The figure itself? Pretty amazing, save for his hands being attached to the forearms and not being able to move. He also has large feet. Large clown feet. He also has a lot of weapons you can creatively put on any of the pegs of his body, or put together in many combined forms. However, there's a lot of them. I haven't found good combinations for these. His transformation is actually pretty simple, and so all the empty space behind his legs and other parts of his body serve the purpose of making a very tight looking car. He's very light but still sturdy.

G1 GNAW - I keep forgetting that the Sharkticon has an actual name: Gnaw. But I like Sharkticon and why shouldn't I? That's such a great name that adds to the ridiculous figure, because Sharkticons are ridiculous. The one I found is missing the tail/weapon. If I make "Sharkticonado," well, now I have the star, don't I?

G1 Overbite - This is another G1 shark figure that has legs. RUN WITH IT, BABY! And arms, but I'm missing those. He's a "Scramble City" type of combiner so that means his head is super tiny and so he stays in...alt...form...a shark with legs. HOW DO YOU NOT LOVE IT?

A few G1 Micromasters - I don't know their names and I didn't take pictures. But I got my first G1 Micromasters. Never had them when I was a kid because by then TFs were off my radar. They're plane. They're SMALL, that's for sure. And with movable arms (but not moving elbows) and then legs that move together on two joints each...they're almost more posable than the original larger Autobots & Decepticons! Pretty cute.

Nope, I didn't take pictures of any of them. Go to TFW or TFwiki or Seibertron or visit one of my blogger friends linked on the bar on the right, those guys do a great job. I don't. Been busy with a lot of drawing stuff (if you can't tell). Hey, visit Robots With Coffee on Twitter and Facebook.

Saturday, November 22, 2014

Monday, October 27, 2014

The Collated Mort Inkinbot page.

You heard him. The Saga of Mort Inkingbot collected and starts here.

Tuesday, October 14, 2014


This was an ad in various Marvel comics in Feb 1985. Not sure if Transbots was something that was ever packaged and released in stores, like any number of Machine Robo Gobots-wannabe, but pictured here are 2 popular transformers figures. The 3rd guy is something out of some fantasy sci-fi adventure and is probably named Zol-TAR or Hate-ROBO or something like that.

A number of different toys are listed and I'm wondering what exactly they are. Bear with me:
All are made of diecast metal and convert from robots to vehicles. Choose from the following – each $4.49 or 3 for $11.99.
Thunderstar – Robot to Jetplane (J1)
Locorob – Robot to Locomotive (J2)
Transfob – Robot to Spaceship (J3)
Protectrob – Robot to Police Car (J4)
Karza – Robot to Dump Truck (J5)
Phobus – Robot to Tractor Trailer (J6)
Metra – Robot to Dune Buggy (J7)
Photon – Robot to Bull Dozer (J8)
I'm guessing these are, based on the price points, GOBOTS. I'm guessing that Locorob is Gobot "Loco" and Transfob is "Spac-y" or whatever. Geez, those names are just as terrible.

Transforming Communicator
Disguised as cassette recorder it transforms into either a Jaguar (J15) or plane (J16) each $4.99.
...Wait, what? Plane? It describes Soundwave (no pricepoint) and then Ravage and then...a mini plane that fits into Soundwave? Huh?
Transforming Deception Plane
Flips in low for attack and changes into Robot for attack. Complete with attachable weapons and decals - $15.99 (J17)
Any of the seekers, I guess.
Transforming Camera
Disguised as a camera it takes pictures of the enemy trenches and then transforms into 3 robots to head off the enemies - $14.99 (J18)
 Good ol' Microx/Reflector.
Also Available Now
The Leader
The largest of the robots he heads up your force and then before attack you can convert him to 3 robots. $13.99 (J19)
Optimus Prime as THE LEADER!
Astro Magnum
A battery operated robot with shooting arms & 3 different sound levels or convert him to Lazer Vulcan – a laser gun, Gunberg a double barreled cannon or Vulcan Base; a standing laser gun. $18.99 (J20)
I don't know who this is but it could be that giant Go-Bot "ro-gun" or whatever. Or it's one of the Shockwaves/Shackwaves with three sounds instead of two.
Transforming Weapon
This super weapon with operable trigger and parts coverts into one of the ultimate robots with attachable weapons and decals $14.99 (J21)
How cool if it was Browning and not Megatron.
Robo Watch
Wear it as a self-winding watch or remove  the center piece and convert it into a robot with the time displayed on his chest 3 function - $9.99 ea. (J11) 

Yeah, one of the transforming watches.  

Sunday, October 5, 2014

Windblade wave!

Hola, amigos. Been a long time since I talked about toys. I hadn't bought many until recently. I preordered a wave of Generations a while ago and it came in a few weeks ago. I got some other figures before that but I'll get to those later.

So, Windblade! Finally! The fan created, girl robot, comic book superstar. And Arcee still has a few months before getting her generations figure. Poor Arcee!

The good: pretty neat figure. The bad: kind of a flimsy figure. Her heel can fold if you just touch the rear fin it's attached to, so she's not the sturdiest toy. Otherwise, considering those large wings, she still manages to stand well. The fans on the wings can turn (so her alt mode is a VTOL kind of jet) and that's one of the best features.

I don't have much else to say on her.

Jhiaxus. New head & guns for generations "armada" Starscream, all orange & gray. I didn't get the Starscream figure and only got this one because he's a separate, new character. The guns are better weapons as I've seen the Starscream figure and its easily breakable swords. But I'll need to repaint that head. What a flat paint job!

Nightbeat: I didn't like "idw" Bumblebee/Goldfire figures, and I'm still...meh. Like Jhiaxus, this is a new Generations figure, and he looks to be a prominent character in MTMTE. I guess it's not as bad as I thought the Bumblebees were (in my opinion). As for the weapons: w.t.f. What are these? Combined, separate, they look terrible. I think the best feature is the headsculpt. Not a bad looking vehicle either.

Crosscut: this ended up being the best figure in the wave, but that's my opinion. Obviously I'm a fan on Skids' mold. The paint job here is pretty amazing, mostly for the shiny red bits. Why couldn't they make a few tweaks to Jhiaxus?

None of the figures have light piping for eyes. I don't think the wave is a letdown in any way, as some great characters (even the fan made gimmick) got figures, so that's a plus. If it was "armada Skywarp" instead of Jhiaxus, I would have passed. My collection is basically Generations versions of G1 and IDW main series characters, so these fit well.

That's it. I'll get to some some actual G1s I picked up in my next post.

Thursday, October 2, 2014

No really, I have some toys to blog about. Really. Some day.

So my WINDBLADE wave came in! Windblade! Jhiaxus! Nightbeat! CROSSCUT!

I just haven't had time to sit down and type about them!

And I still have to type about Roadbuster!

And a few other cool things! WTH?

Here's a visit from our old pal Mort Inkingbot, Functionist Cartoonist! I'll get back to babbling about toys, really. Don't say you don't love these though, LIAR. I know you do.

Friday, September 12, 2014

Way odd to the very end.

I picked up a few Kreons and Generations Roadbuster. Woo! A full report sometime soon.

In the meantime, enjoy this mashup.

Sunday, August 31, 2014

Robot Wars!

Gang! I went to Logan Hardware in Chicago (it's a record store) and they had ROBOT WARS! It was a set of trading cards by Fleer that included stickers and scratch off games. And, uh, cheap sticks of powerdery, stiff gum stuck to the stickers if you open it 25 years or so after their initial release!

Each pack beyond the gum comes with five cards. Of the three packs I bought, they each came with 3 game cards (nearly the same one in every pack), a sticker of a drawing of a robot, and then stickers for your robot action figures.

"Peel & Stick on your robots" yeah, not a chance in hell, Fleer.
These were pretty much the reason to get the packs. I was curious to see how well these images were done to match the scale of Gobots or Transformers...and if so, were there any in mind? Was Optimus Prime to wear the "Leader" medallion design on his shoulder over the Autobot symbol? Where does "Robots Only" go, on Metroplex? If you look closely you'll notice that printing of the designs is off a bit from where you'd remove them from the sheet, and thus if you were to apply these, they would look slightly off. Some of these aren't bad designs, the kind you'd see in the shoulder area of the Seekers or waist areas of Constructicons.

Of COURSE the gum will be covering each one of these in each pack. The card in the center is the only one that survived.

Then there was one sticker of a robot design in each pack.

Lasertron has TOES.

If I'm not mistaken, transforming robots ruled the mid-80's. Other than C3P0 and R2D2, I don't recall kids loving non-transforming robots figures, unless they moved or were remote control or you built them from plastic 'construction' sets. Y'know, actual robots. These are something out of a bizarre 70's fantasy script that got rejected. I got two Lazertrons and an Eagltor and they both look like Autobots that Prime would ask to stay in the Ark, and remain in the Ark, and then 20 years later he died and they're still waiting there.

Kids, you can now practice those games your uncle is always playing
to supplement his income.
Finally, the element of gambling. There were three scratch off cards in each pack and they were virtually the same cards in each pack you see above. I think I got one different but it doesn't matter, because Father Time and maybe bad storage has altered the bonding of silvery scratch off material and cardboard. I tried to scratch off a card and the paper underneath the material rubbed off with it. So, thanks Robot Wars.

Y'know, I would have loved a Hasbro sanctioned sticker pack. you could buy GI Joe figure weapon packs as extras or as replacements, why not the same with stickers for Transformers? Beat Reprolabels at their game?

Anyway, I DO have a figure I'm going to try the stickers on. I got a little haul and I'll discuss that next. For more on these stickers, check the linked review at the top, I think that's all you need to know about this cash-in.

BTW, you buy something at Logan Hardware, they open up a back room and it's full of vintage arcade games set on free play. I played Bosconian and got the highest score! (until they reset it for tomorrow.)

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Mort Inkingbot and speculating on MTMTE 32

That's Mort Inkingbot, everyone. He used to draw a syndicated comic strip for various Cybertronian newspapers, mostly with pro-establishment, pro-functionist messages, sometimes veiled and sometimes not veiled all that well.

Just kidding. I made him up.

Anyway, expect some more Lost Light Insider and functionist propaganda gags to be repeated here.

In the meantime, the highly anticipated (and dreaded) More Than Meets The Eye #32 came out this week. I have a few thoughts. Just a few, because #33 will answer the 'what the heck?' Hey, it's after the jump because, you know, SPOILERS. Major goshdarn spoilers.