My idea for a Roguelike game: SWERVE-QUEST!

Okay, bear with me. I was thinking about the Rogue game today. If you don't know, it's a simple computer game from the 1980's that has been modded and redone a billion times or so. Why look, here's a Wikipedia entry.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rogue_(video_game)

So think D&D style, turn-based with strategy involving weapons and magic spells, upgradable hit points, and letters in the alphabet to signify enemies.

ANYWAY, I thought, what if the main character were SWERVE from More Than Meets The Eye?

What if it were up to him to save the day?

I don't know programming so I don't know where to start. I did see a "how to code a roguelike game" page so I know there's info out there...but it's not as easy as just copying the code and replacing "dragon" with "Seacon" or something like that. And I'd reduce the number of items (like curing potions with various types of Energon) and cut out things like magic.

So I wrote down some ideas. Loose plot, who the enemies are, what kinds of weapons, things like that. It's all after the jump here; there are More Than Meets The Eye SPOILERS even though I take liberties with how things happen for this game idea.