Twin Spin and Toptwist. I can't be bothered to look up the correct names.

One of the solicits at Big Bad Toy Store this month, and probably the same solicit at your local comic shop, is a case of new Fall Of Cybertron deluxes. One of the robots is the earlier feared FOC Whirl, and it looks like he's one of five robots, along with Roadbuster, IMPACTOR, Twin Twist and Topspin, that are retools of the Combaticons from this line. They are known to many fans (of nearly every comic series) as the Wreckers...

...who of course didn't combine (in any of the comics series). But, because they are retools (new heads, new weapons, new terrible paint jobs) they combine to form "Ruination."

Someone hit my car.

Someone SIDESWIPED my car the other night. A hit & run. I could see the tire TRACKS. There was a white streak on the side of my car where the dents were. My car is named Gears, but the singer of my band calls it Skids. So, this conversation:

monty:  is there a white Stunticon?  because i think that's who hit Skids.

 me:  um, Breakdown

He's a Lamborghini

so he'd be kind of low to the ground. You know, that makes sense. I should look around my neighborhood for a white Lamborghini with a black smudge on its bumper.

 monty:  i think you should.

Anticipation: Trailcutter (breaker) and Hoist

I can't wait for the Generations line to return with the "Classics" versions of Trailbreaker (which will be Trailcutter) and, duh, Hoist, which will be a retool of Trailbreaker/cutter.

 My only worry: So, you know that I didn't like Fall Of Cybertron Sideswipe. The major problems included that his head didn't really pop out as predominantly from the neckhole in his chest as it should have. And then you folded his arms over his wheels, and then that awkward mess stood up on two tiny legs with very little spacing between them (and two fake wheels serving as his feet; his forearms hold his real back wheels).

Okay, so, on the link above for Trailcutter, check out his arms.

Uh-huh.

Same thing: his arms flip over from the side of the door, covering the front wheels, and then his head pops up through his hood/chest. Is the transformation similar? Is this a MAJOR retool of FOC Jazz/Sideswipe? 

When I get a chance, I'll include a graphic to politely further my case...

Sideswipe drawings

My friend Pat Loboyko drew these for me, on sketchcards (the size of a baseball card).

Thanks Pat!

Super Change Series - SPEED POLICE!

I was at a CVS and saw an imitation Transformers brand, SPEED POLICE!

It's a "New Arrival" in the "Super Change Series." Please note tagline that is less a marketing plan than a direct command, "COLLECT THEM." Do it now, comrade, or else! Knock-off/bootleg/imitation figures crack me up. I couldn't find much online other than from wholesalers that probably specify in cheap crap. (CVS was charging $9.99, by the way.) Someone reviewed it on the youtubes.

I think what I enjoy most is the writing and layout. Both are of course terrible. The names, as discussed earlier regarding Go-Bots and their knock-offs (Lotus Eater?), leave so much to be desired, yet would I change a thing? Let's take a look at the next photo, which I took with my cell phone, so it's a little blurry, but you should be able to make out the names...

I'm guessing that the bottom list is the group of bad guys. The police car is one of the bad guys (??) and thus is not a member of "Speed Police." Don't think too hard about this lost opportunity, you are a busy person and you don't want to start crying over the illogical branding.

The bad guys (?) all have the word "HELL" in their names. This is supposed to be a children's toy, presumably something for the child to hold onto and won't realize isn't Bumblebee or any other recognizable Transformer, and won't care even when it breaks super easily. So they each have "Hell" in the name, followed by that of an insect (or in the case of Hell-Scorpion, an arachnid). Where the people packaging this for a quick buck really in that much of a hurry? Did anyone involved thing, "hey, kids probably can't hear the word Hell on their cartoon shows" (note: not sure where to look it up, but according to tvtropes.org "hell" is allowed in G rated films) or at least think "hey, we can't have one of our figures with the name 'Hell-something!'"

His coworker, if he has a coworker, at the computer putting together graphic with a deadline in two minutes: "You're right, we'll have FOUR of our figures with the word 'hell' in their names."

Do you have an imitation transforming action figure from the 80's you're fond of?

One of the COOLER things (link to TFW2005 thread)

Make your own tech spec.

Like this. But I didn't load the correct font before finishing it...so make sure you add the included fonts in your windows/fonts folder before you open Photoshop. Otherwise I used "Agency FB" which kind of sucks...sorry.

(You can enlarge the whole picture, by the way.)

When you do print it, change the width to 7.5 inches; that's roughly the width of the original "Autobot Cars" box specs.

FUN. TOO MUCH FUN.

Custom - "Classics" Downshift

One of my favorite TFs was G1 Downshift. You could get him via mailorder, saving up Robot Points and sending them and five bucks to Hasbro and they'd mail you a figure they figured they couldn't sell in a package.

The Omnibots (those mailaway figures) are a little smaller than the regular G1 cars save for Skids (misconception about Skids: he's a minivan. Us Americans had seen compact cars, but not the City Turbo.). Yet Downshift, Overdrive, and Camshaft all had "battlemodes," where a part of the car flipped out and a weapon could be displayed. The appeal of Overdrive, already a red sports car, he had WINGS that flipped out, so that made him one of the first Triple Changers (well, along with Tracks) even though neither is designated as such. I had Overdrive and Downshift; I wouldn't get Camshaft until literally a year ago when I was full on collecting and realized "Hey, I don't have the 3rd mail away Omnibot."

I thought Overdrive was pretty cool but, looking at him now, he's kind of a flimsy bot. Or Flimsybot (tm). Somehow he stayed together over the years, but I lost two of his three weapons. When I got Camshaft out of the need for completion, well, I was disappointed. He was a little hard to transform, and honestly didn't look that cool as a robot. Plus his head pops up and doesn't stay up; I had to rest it against the missile in the launcher directly behind his head.

Downshift was always a solid figure compared to the other two, and I don't think he gets the love he deserves. His transformation is not unlike that of G1 Wheeljack, and his hands can actually hold things!

This gave me an idea for a custom, of course. And a theoretically easy one...

Blinded by the paint job. Wrapped up like a...

Like I said in the last post, the Headrobots Drone (Whirl) upgrade was pretty well received by the local Transformers Afficionado crew (as seen in "Transformers Afficionado Magazine," no longer in print, the publisher of which long out of business). They thought his weapons and feet/skis were neat, and that the head was pretty good as well, and all winced at the price of $35.

Well, duh, of course I should have expected a Generations Whirl.

He's a retool of FOC Vortex and like the Bruticus will combine with other "Wreckers" to form...some giant robot that the Wreckers of Marvel and IDW and etc. etc. never combined into, which I believed Hasbro already trademarked the name "I Don't Recall The Wreckers Combining Into A Larger Robot-icus."

I kinda knew this was coming because I did see his name mentioned on another blog for the Fall Of Cybertron figures. But I didn't think for a long time that we'd get a Generations (of which FOC falls under) Whirl, or at least one that looked like a Generations version of G1 Whirl.

I don't feel so bad getting the expensive upgrade when a simple head sculpt, even one done at home and painted by myself, could have sufficed, but I'd feel bad if a Deluxe sized Whirl came out. Well, you know when this hits the shelves we'll be complaining about the $18 shelf tag. Still doesn't make me feel better.

The color choices on this figure make me feel better about my purchase, pending inspection if the head fits over a ball joint or if the socket is in the neck, as some Prime and FOC figures have been manufactured lately. No, this makes me feel awesome. What a terrible looking figure.

Ugh.

Comments? Send your letters to "Transformers Afficionado Magazone," care of...

(I hate the song I'm parodying in the title.)

Just plays a mean pinball.

I feel like a jerk because some local Transformer afficionados (as seen in "Transformer Afficionado" magazine, now out of print for obvious reasons) had a get together and I semi-invited Til All Are Mine to join me. But I didn't have an address for the event. Until the day of the event. So Til All Are Mine, sorry, as by the time the party started I was trying to get my house internet back online, and then I had to bolt out the door. So next time.